Yosi break

Nararamdaman kong malapit na akong itakwil ng mga dati kong kaibigan dahil sa mga choices ko sa buhay lately. Sila na ang malinis. Sila na ang mabuti. Sila na ang mabait. Hindi ko pinangarap na maging perpekto.

Gagged, Kim Kimero, Tonto, at mga co-copers, walang iwanan ha...

Drama lang.

Busy Tone

Nang marinig ko ang busy tone, bigla akong binalot ng nakakabinging katahimikan.

May hangin sa paligid pero hindi ko marinig ang kaluskos ng mga dahon sa Street Unknown.

Parang naka-mute na pelikula.

Mapunan lamang ang kawalan, nagkumahog akong hanapin sa playlist ko ang maingay na kanta ng The Exies para patugtugin sa nakasalpak kong earphones.

Ang musika, base sa aking karanasan, ay mabisang anesthesia.

Maya-maya pa, nag-text ka.

Opening.

"Hey sorry, had to reject your call. May ginagawa kasi ko..."

Reply.

"No worries. That was just a random phone-a-friend for Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. And I lost the game, because you hang up! The question supposedly was, what is the square root of 25? I answered, 5.756378. Tangina, 5 lang pala ang sagot!? :)) Anyway, hope you're cool. :)"

Sent.

Natawa ka.

Natawa rin ako.

At naisip kong may masasaklap na reyalidad na mas okey na idaan na lang sa biro. Dahil sadyang malaking biro lang din naman ang buhay.

Ika nga nila, "Don't take life too seriously, because nobody has come out of it alive anyway."

Pero tuloy lang. Habang may musika.

Date

Habang nasa SM ako kanina, paulit-ulit kong sinasabi na June 6 ngayon at hindi February 14. Para akong sinasampal sa mukha sa tuwing may nakakasalubong akong mag-boyfriend at girlfriend, additional na sabunot at kurot kapag nagkataong magka-holding hands ang dalawa.

Judas

We're all Judas at one point--a part of life's destiny but falls casualty to being misunderstood.

Hinay hinay lang

Hindi naman sinabing 'wag ka magmahal nang lubos. hindi rin sinabing pigilan mo ang sarili mo. pero sa tingin ko, sa oras na nagmamahal ka na, subukan mo ring magtira kahit konti sa sarili mo. kahit konti lang. para kung sakaling isang araw ay wala na sya, 'di ka naman ganoon ka-baldado. at kahit papano e kakayanin mong  magsimula kahit mag-isa ka.

Depths

So this is the depths of pain. It is seething hard but it teaches you life's biggest ironies and mysteries.

My deep pain comes from my discovery of the unthinkable traits of man in a dog-eat-dog world--how friends could suddenly turn into savage beasts that devour you and how they could play sheep to save their faces. In reality, life's discrepancies can be utterly frustrating. Life is just unfair.

But at the point of breaking down, you would learn to value whatever is left of you, if it's dignity, be it dignity. If it's just a bit of your pride or just your self, you would learn to safekeep, to protect, to defend. You would learn to pat your own back in the midst of torment. You would love yourself above anyone else, for in times of suffering, self-preservation is knee-jerk.

So this is the pain that kills.

-_-

February 14

KAOPISINA : Ma'am maguundertime po ako. (Sabay ngiti.)
AKO : Ma'am, mag-oovertime po ako. (Sabay hagalpak.)