Saturday, April 30, 2011
Judas
Thursday, April 28, 2011
What was I thinking?
After
For now it's good. We're neither enemies nor friends.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
bridge
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Won't let this happen again
I know in the first place na hindi ko na 'to dapat naramdaman pa. Pasensya ka na aking puso, palagi kitang pinipigilan at hinahayaang masaktan. Maraming beses na, paulit ulit na lang. Hindi ko sinasadya.
Sisiguraduhin kong sa susunod na tumibok ka ulit, sa tamang tao na at sa tamang panahon kung kailan hindi na kita kailangan pang pigilan pa.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Instead of Unfriend-ing...
I was reading my FB newsfeed, and someone posted something. I have always wanted to unfriend that person but thought it would be so rude of me, especially because I know the feeling (believe me!) I realized that instead of unfriending someone you don't want to know anything about, or atleast their little random personal updates, you can just hide all their posts by clicking the X option at the upper right corner of their post. It is a win-win situation. You won't hurt their feeling because they won't know, and their posts won't affect you anymore because you won't know either.:)
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Usad-pagong
/sumasakit bangs ko sayo.
Friday, April 15, 2011
I took a deep breath. I heard you call my name. My reflexes were to look back and smile, only to find out that you we're actually calling the person behind me whose name nearly resembles mine. I felt the heat on my cheeks. My palms sweat. I hope I did not blush.
I know you saw it. The eagerness to look at you, the impulsive smile, and how it turned blank after the truth dawned on me. You saw how my face turned red, you and your sardonic smile effortlessly sentenced my pride.
You said I am a clairvoyant. I guess you're right. Because at that very moment, I am sure of what you were thinking. That after almost a year and a half, I am still the pathetic girl you left behind, you wanted to grow up, you wished to explore the world, you hoped to find new things and meet new people, and all the while, i thought that you included me on your plans, but fate proved me wrong.
I don't want to sound distressed nor to look wretched after you left me, but God knows how long I lamented on what had happened.
You saw my smile, if you only knew it was genuine. That there's no trace of resentment directed towards you. It was as if we're still walking on the same ground, hand in hand. Happy, contented, assured.
You're not the same anymore. You've reached your dreams and I can sense that you're still making your way, there are more and bigger opportunities yet to come. You have made it and I am happy for you.
Lost objects do have the tendency to stay lost, only to turn up months after you have given up looking, and have forgotten all about it.
True.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
A blow job
Not to be ungrateful to my current source of living, but I just miss writing for the newspaper. I miss the rewarding feeling of a published story that carries an impact to the lives of many. I miss visiting islands, climbing hills, wading rivers for a story to be told. I miss talking to interesting characters--celebrities or commoners alike.
In my world now, I squeeze my brain to accomplish paperworks for a day and at the end of it nobody cares so much, because I'm paid anyway. I would find myself wandering after office hours, hosting a radio show, ghostwriting for the lazy, and meeting my newfound friends--probably in search for that satisfaction and meaning that I have been groping for.
I am paid. They bought me for a price. I was offered this job, I didn't even look for it. And I know there are throngs of people out there dying to land a job, but I am just starting to give up!
Because I feel insulted. This job has bought my ideas, my talent, my vision, my time, my influence when I could have used them more powerfully and not just for the interest of the few.
I wouldn't want to be a few digits richer and feel like I've lost my mind and my entire life altogether.
I am absent from work today, because I am sick. I really am sick.
swerte
1000 pesos sa overpass...
Habang paakyat, sinasabi ko sa sarili ko na hindi na magbabago ang pananampalataya ko sa Diyos. Nang maabot ko ang tuktok, naagaw ang atensyon ko ng nagyeyellow na papel na nakahiga sa sementadong sahig. Tila kumakaway at gustong papulot. Dahil easy to get ako, pinulot ko naman. Paglingon ko, tila tinawag ako ng kapatid nyang nakasimangot, at gustong papulot din. Siyempre, ginawa ko naman.
Tumakbo ang isip at ang mga paa ko sa lalaking kabababa palang. Nilapitan ko sya at tinanong kung may nahulog s'yang pera.
Ako: May nahulog ka po bang pera? (sabi ko nga yun ang tinanong ko di ba? haha)
Dali-daling kinuha ni kuya ang wallet nya at tiningnan kung may nawala nga s'ya. Kinapa niya ang kanyang bulsa at tinanong din ako, "magkano ba?"
Sa likod ng utak ko sinagot ko s'ya ng "ba't ko sasabihin, kung sayo 'to dapat alam mo."
Tila narinig nya ang sinabi ko, at mabuti naman at ganun.
"Wala naman akong nawala," sabi niya.
Hindi ko alam kung nagpasalamat ako sa pagkausap ko sa kanya, pero umakyat na ulit ako sa overpass para ipagpatuloy ang aking naunsyaming pagtawid.
Wala akong nakitang street child o malapit na charity kaya ipinasok ko na lang sa bag ang dalawang nakasimangot na papel.
Hulog kaya iyon ng langit, o masama ba akong tao?
Kung ikaw may napulot na sanlibo, ano ang gagawin mo?
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Pano ba?
Alam ko ang lahat ng 'yon, pero paulit-ulit ko pa ring ginagawa. dahil sa totoo lang, hindi ko na alam ang pinakepektibong paraan para bukas di na kita maalala.
Dear Gagged
Ayoko na nga magstalk. hindi ko na rin bubulatlatin ang kwento ng buhay mo. napahiya ako ng konti e. konti lang naman. hahaha. pero nakakatuwa ring isipin na dahil sa blog na to e may nakikilala akong ibang tao (although hindi pa personally) at natututo ako ng maraming bagay. solomot.
PS: curios na curious pa rin ako, praaaaamis. =))
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Akala
Nabanggit ng kapwa ko manunulat sa blog na ito ang hula nia sa aking pagkatao. Natawa ako nang mapagkamalaan niya ako for someone else. Pero yun na din yung hinala ko na iisipin niya. Sinabi ko nga kay Andrew na most probably ganun ang conclusion ni Rix. =) Masaya ako na hanggang ngayon misteryoso pa rin ang katauhan ko. Enjoy talaga ako sa nagagawa ng blog na ito, hindi lang sa mga nagbabasa kundi pati na rin sa mga sumusulat.
Btw, wala na akong photo nung nasa billboard sa FB ko. Bitter kasi ako.. haha..
Tsaka, wala ata sa job description ng akala niang tao ang maglayout ng dyaryo =)
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Saturday, April 9, 2011
as in.. duhhh!
akala mo mapapaniwala mo ako niyan? nakakatawa ka. pinapaniwala mo ang ibang tao sa maganda mo kunong ugali. gustong mong mangyari sayo ang nangyari sa kaawa-awang pusa? kaso malaki ata ang gagamitin kong plastic container! pero kung naawa ako sa pusa sayo hindi. ang lakas na talaga ng loob mo. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!! naiinis ako!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
And so
:'(
Boy it's been all this time
And I can't get you off my mind
And nobody knows it but me
I stare at your photograph
Still sleep in the shirt you left
And nobody knows it but me
Everyday I wipe my tears away
So many nights I've prayed for you to say
[Chorus]
I should've been chasing you
I should've been trying to prove
That you were all that mattered to me
I should've said all the things that I kept inside of me
And maybe I could've made you believe
That what we had was all we'd ever need
My friends think I'm moving on
But the truth is I'm not that strong
And nobody knows it but me
And I've kept all the words you said
In a box underneath my bed
And nobody knows it but me
But if you're happy I'll get through somehow
But the truth is that I've been screaming out
[Repeat Chorus]
I should've been chasing you
You should've been trying to prove
That you were all that mattered to me
Oh you should've said all the things
That I kept inside of me
And maybe you could've made me believe
That what we had girl
Oh that what we had, what we had
It was all we'd ever need
It was all we'd ever need
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Summer of 2011 na (OMG!)
Summer na. Naiinggit ako sa mga estudyante, kasi sila bakasyon na. Iba ang pakiramdam na maging pansamantalang maging malaya sa mga gawaing tinuturing mong pasanin. Masayang alam mong pagkakataon mo nang gawin ang mga nais mong gawin sa sarili mong pamamaraan. Naglululundag ang puso mo sa tuwa, parang Party! Party!
Naalala ko na naman kung pano nagsimula ang matamis na nakaraan. Summer Job of 2007, at Summer of 2009 naman iyon mapait na nagtapos. Sa pagbabalik-tanaw ko, naisip ko tila mas mahaba lang ang relasyon namin sa Isang Linggong Pag-ibig (ni Imelda Papin) ngunit ang paglipas ay tila mas mabilis pa sa isang iglap.
Nostalgic lang ako ngayon sa kaiisip ng Summer dahil marka ito na mahaba nang nagbakasyon ang puso ko from romantic love. Mahabang panahon nang naging malaya ang nabihag kong puso, at nararamdaman ko na ang mahigpit na yakap ng tagtuyot. Pinagtatanto ko kung marapat na ba akong magmahal muli? At kung oo, bakit?
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Kating kati na naman akong bisitahin ang account nya sa facebook. Buti na lang eh medyo duwag din ako't di ko kayang makita na may bago na naman syang kaharutan. Ang hirap. Minsan nga'y naiisip ko na mas mabuti na rin sigurong magkaron na sya ng bagong lovelife, yung seryoso, di yung puro pa-kilig at pa-display lang ang alam. Syempre sigurado namang magnga-ngangawa rin ako kapag nagkatotoo yun,
pero at least eh one time big time na sampal yun sa mukha ko, masakit, pero alam kong mas madali akong magigising.
Pagnagkataon, di ko na iisipin na siguro'y mahal nya pa rin ako't puro pagpapaselos lang ang ka-kornihan nila sa facebook.
Di ko na rin pag-iisipan ng masinsinan kung para sa'kin ba yung mga double meaning nyang status.
Di na rin ako magbabakasakaling takaw at lunod lang siya sa pride nya, kunsabagy eh swerte sya't mas matangkad na sakanya ang iniingatan niyang ego.
At lalong lalo nang hindi na rin ako dadalaw sa wall nya dahil isa na sya, sila, sa mga taong pinaglililibak ko noon, yun bang lantaran ang buhay pag-ibig, kulang nalang eh gawan nila ng pelikula o teleserye ang kabaduyan nila.
Ewan. Ang kati kasi. Siguro'y dahil pagaling na. ganyan daw ang mga sugat sabi ng nanay ko,
wag daw kamutin kasi'y pepeklat rin lang naman.